Thursday, March 01, 2007

I'm sorry that...

Science, and especially physics, needs an apologist. Not in the sense of one who argues the viewpoint of physicists on their behalf, but instead a person to who actually apologizes for physics. I don't mean apologizing for the way physics is done, or how annoying physicists can be either. I mean that someone ought to apologize to everyone for the way the universe itself works. Don't be confused by those who claim that natural law is cool, or beautiful, or convenient; it is more often than not, none of those things. Sadly, nobody can do anything about it. We couldn't write an ammendment to create thermodynamic subsidies for those with cold feet regardless of the support it would garner. We can't make the distance between two points separated by A in one direction and B in another anything other than (A^2 + B^2+2*A*B*cos(theta))^1/2. In a one-dimensional universe, it would be A+B or 0. That's just the start. There are many creative people capable of writing laws to govern a universe that would result in a much more palatable environment than the one we live in. The entire gaming industry is based on this fact. And that's why we need a caring, compassionate person with a deep understanding of science to express a little sympathy. Just check out how theraputic this is.
I'm sorry that.... can't have Morgan Freeman to narrate your thoughts and Sean Connery to pronounce your pickup lines. matter how intensely you study Holy Scriptures, you will never obtain a holy aura or the ability to heal your freinds.
...crossbreeding cool animals will not give you a pet with the loyalty of a dog, the intelligence of a dolphin, wings, a trunk, a prehensile tail, small enough to fit in your pocket, and a hardy shell for when you forget he's in your pocket.
...physical beauty has outlived its usefulness as the primary method of attraction.
...people do not have reserves of magical power to be called upon to stun your enemies, or do dishes, or whatever.


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